My Thoughts!

This blog is going to be my outlet for getting rid of all my thoughts, emotions and feelings! I will apologize up front if it seems harsh or rude. I thought this would be cheaper than therapy so feel free to leave comments of the positive or negative kind! Hopefully none of you will have to go through any of this!

MIL

From the very beginning I knew in the back of my head that my m-i-l would be a problem. She never liked me and made it clear from the beginning. I tried to be nice to her and went above and beyond to try and win her over. There was just no pleasing her, anyway I tried. She would come to visit us and never speak to me. She would take POS into other rooms to talk to him so I couldn't hear and if I went in that room she would take him to another room! If she called my house she would never say Hey E how are you? It was always, can I speak to POS when I answered. The thing that drove me nuts was how there was never any notice of them coming to see us. Most people call and say hey we want to come visit what about such and such date? No, they would call and say we are on our way we will be there in so many hours and are staying for so many days. Whatever we had planned would have to be canceled and I would have to go on a cleaning rampage until they got there.

Then my babies were born and from the beginning she has not been any kind of grandmother to them. When E was born she came to stay with us and be there when he was born. Which was fine until we got home and she decided to be his mom. I had a c-section and couldn't jump up and do things. She decided she would do everything for E- give him his first bath, change the first diaper, give the first bottle, etc. etc. Then when I mentioned that it should be the time I bonded with my son she got pissed and left. Then J was born and she missed his birth because he came early. By the time she got there she ended up having to leave because Katrina was on its way! Since then we have seen her once! My children do not know who she is because she never calls them or sends them cards or anything. She claims its because I won't let her. That is not true because I have always said she could be apart of their lives however I don't feel it is my responsibility to seek her out and call her and make sure they know who she is. This past Christmas she sent us a Hickory Farms gift for all 4 of us. It was good but my babies don't understand that that was their present. Ethan did get a PSP from her 2 Christmas's' ago so I guess that is supposed to last forever.

When POS and I started having problems he said one reason was because I had out casted him from his family. So, even though it was totally against everything I believed, I called her and apologized for everything. Even though none of it was my fault. She talked to me a couple of times on the phone- sounded very genuine and everything. But guess what, we have been gone from POS for a month now and NOT ONE SINGLE CALL to check on us or anything! So you tell me who the Bitch is?

If there ever is a next time, I will do my homework and definitely check out the in-laws before anything is started!

Background Info

So most of you don't know what kind of childhood me and my soon to be ex came from. So, I thought I would enlighten you. I came from a Catholic Family where my parents are still married to this day, I think 34 years now. My parents have always provided for us and done whatever was best for us! They brought us up with good morals and my sister and I have never done things most others have! Our family is very loving and would totally give up everything they have for us. Now imagine the complete opposite! POS is from a divorced family. His family is very dysfunctional and beyond anything I can comprehend. Of course I didn't know any of this when we met. It took years to learn about everything. I will start from his beginning!

His mom had him when she was only 15 years old! She married his dad. This was in the 70's. I think they were both into drugs. Anyway, they then had his sister 3-4 years later. His mom did not get along with her family and they wanted his dad to have him and not his mom. So, somehow his dad kidnapped him from his mom and had him for a little while before she found him. Then after that she ended up taking the kids and leaving town not telling anyone where they were going. They ended up being gone for over 10 years! While they were away, his mom met her next husband. She went into the army and while she was at boot camp, the new stepdad went crazy and treated them horrible. The mom came back and he still was crazy and they lived in a tent for awhile and eventually he ended up trying to kill POS' mom, right in front of him! They ended up running way in the middle of the night. A little while later she met her next husband and got pregnant- then they got married. He turned out to be ok and took care of them but he is one of those people who looks out for himself only. If you can't do anything for him then he doesn't want anything to do with you.

There were several instances when we were dating that has made me hate his mom and stepdad! First of all, POS, was not a good driver. He had several wrecks and the insurance told his parents you either drop him off or we cancel you. So, he was left with no car insurance. So they decided since he had no insurance they would take his truck away. Which he paid for! Then once when he was having body work done from a wreck they went and picked the truck up and wouldn't give it back. All of his life his family shit on him. He had a job since he was 14 and then moved out at 17 to live with a friend because his family felt he was a burden. Then finally the truck was totalled! His parents said they had a car for him and they would bring it to him. It turned out to be guess what- a pos. Then they took his truck back home with them and sold the parts for $3000.00. They never even gave him any money or anything for it. I could go on and on but I will save some for later!

New Name

So, I really don't want to use my soon to be ex's name so from now on he will be referred to as POS! I am not saying what that stands for- just use your imagination! :)

Want to post but...

J has been sick the past 4 days! I am going to post some background info on my soon to be ex- so you all will see how hard this is for me to handle and comprehend!

How do you ......

teach your children that what their father is doing is not what a respectable man should do? My boys are only 5 and almost 3 but I want to start teaching them now that they should not treat anyone the way we have been treated. I am trying to explain to them on their level how you should treat others especially those you love. Right now I am making a big deal about manners and doing nice things for others and making sure they think about how it will affect the other person before they do or say it. I might be getting in over my head but I want to instill in them from now on, you don't do to anyone what has been done to us. My boys have always been very loving and kind but I want to make sure that is taken 10 times further through the rest of their life!

Father's Day!

So, let me tell you what a great Father's Day the boys had! Can't you just hear the sarcasm in my voice! Well, I had a meeting at church at 9:30 so on my way to that I decided to be a nice person and call POS and tell him Happy Fathers Day! He was in the car and said he was on his way to the store because he had nothing to eat. So, after my meeting the boys and my sister met me at church. Once we got home we began calling their daddy. Of course no answer. We called continually until around 6pm and I said we are not calling anymore. What dad doesn't answer their phone to speak to their kids on Father's Day? Evidently my kids dad! Well about 7pm he called back, I could barely hear him and he asked to speak to the boys. I said where are you, I can barely hear you. He said he was at Six Flags! WTF!!! First of all who goes to six flags on fathers day without their kids and secondly you can't take 5 minutes to call your children after they have left 10 messages! I told him he couldn't talk to the boys because they would hear the kids screaming in the background. Can you imagine what they would think if they knew where he was! I told him to call back when he got in the car. He called back around 9 pm and was mad because the boys were already asleep! I am sorry, that the boys wanted to talk to him all day and he couldn't make time out of his busy day at Six Flags to talk to them. Definitely the kind of father we all want for our kids. How does someone just change overnight like this. It is beyond my comprehension. I am stressing out just trying to figure all of this out. In the end I will be ok but I feel like the boys will never be ok!